What to do When You Feel Like You Aren’t Good Enough

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Ever feel like you just don’t measure up?

When you feel inadequate and incapable. And regardless of what you do it doesn’t seem to matter. When you feel like you aren’t good enough.

Yeah, I thought so.

Let’s face it, we live in a world of posts, tweets, likes, airbrushing, and cosmetic surgery. All too often, we are bombarded with messages that we’re supposed to look perfect, feel fantastic, and juggle countless responsibilities without complaining. On top of these demands, we’re supposed to make it look effortless.

ALL OF THE TIME.

That’s a pretty tall order.

Completely unrealistic.

Absurd, really.

And the thing is, we know better. We really do. But it doesn’t seem to matter how many supportive people we have in our lives or how much positive self-take we try to incorporate. Because that nagging feeling that we’re somehow falling short is always in the back of our minds.

I’ve heard it said in a variety of ways.

Don’t compare your start to their finish.

Their best to your worst.

Their onstage to your offstage.

OK, great, so we know all of this stuff. We’re on to the media and the advertising companies. We’re not going to be duped. And yet, even armed with all of this knowledge,

Why is it so hard to truly FEEL like we’re good enough?

Because on top of all of the fake perfection we’re surrounded with, we’ve also been sold the lie of scarcity. This lie of scarcity tells us that if someone else is experiencing success in an area, there isn’t enough success leftover for us.

As a result, we’re left feeling insecure, untrusting and frankly, pretty miserable.

Now, I’ve noticed that when I limit my social media scrolling, I’m not nearly as inclined to fall into the comparison trap. Consistently reminding myself that this trap is toxic helps too. It enables me to avoid spiraling into that icky place where I feel like I’m not measuring up.

A couple of years ago, I started to seek out every opportunity to celebrate the achievements of people I know. Every single opportunity. Acknowledging the success experienced by my friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances…it always feels good to celebrate their achievements.

And as a result, my attitude shifts. The feeling is similar to what I experience when I regularly express gratitude.

Expansive and free.

Connected to those around me.

Basically, I’m doing my best to practice what I call my “Good Enough” lifestyle. And the peace and acceptance I’ve gained, have been pretty remarkable. 

What to do When You Feel Like You Aren’t Good Enough

Try to eliminate all of the extra, self-imposed “shoulds” and “have to” demands swirling around in your brain. Instead, try to focus on the essentials. Of course, it’s totally normal to get off track sometimes and have to come back to basics, you are human, after all. But this overall mind shift is really powerful. 

Is the house clean enough?

I’m talking super basic here. Not a ton of deep cleaning. I mean like a couple times a month of sweeping, mopping, dusting, and cleaning the bathrooms. If things don’t look grimy and gross around here, they are good enough.

Am I getting enough physical activity?

Unless intense exercise is your outlet, perhaps this is not the season in your life to train for a marathon. Do you walk your dog? Is cleaning the house one of your responsibilities? Guess what? These both totally count as physical activity. Woo-hoo! Practicing yoga and stretching count too. Seriously, it’s all plenty for right now.

Am I healthy enough?

Give yourself a break, ok? Do the best you can in whatever ways you can. Some days this might mean you’re eating the recommended servings of fruit and veggies. Then there will be those days when chocolate and wine are needed for your sanity.Try for moderation and then please do your best to relax.

Am I teaching my children enough?

Since there are so many educational possibilities, it’s easy to feel like there is always something more we should be doing. Hit some math every day. Have your children read. Listen to historical audiobooks. Watch some educational documentaries. Get out the board games, puzzles, and a deck of cards. Play outside. When you have the energy to plan more, great. Otherwise, you’ve got all of the basics covered.

Is the food I’m feeding my family healthy enough?

Some days the answer might be no. Pizza again? Chinese takeout? No doubt, you are going to have days like these. Because I don’t care how organized you are, life can get NUTS! But when days like these alternate with mostly healthy options at home, it’s called perfectly fine thank-you-very-much. And please don’t confuse complicated and time-consuming dinners with healthy. Soup and sandwiches are awesome. So are great big salads. Smoothies and eggs work too.

Easy. Healthy. Done.

Do I look good enough?

This one’s tough, isn’t it? So, so tough. Since you have a lot on your plate and people to look after, there never does seem to be enough time to focus on self-care. So wash your face, moisturize, put on some lip gloss, throw on some cute earrings if this is your thing, and take a deep breath.

What is something you DO that makes you feel beautiful? Gardening? Sketching? Baking? Hiking? Reading? Do that thing and soak up the beauty you feel. I guarantee you’ll feel better.

Am I enough?

Yes, yes, yes! 100% yes!

I guarantee that your people don’t walk around all day, stressing about how you are not doing enough for them. What makes their lives better is when you are as happy and healthy as you can possibly be. The joy really does trickle down from you to them.

I’m often reminded of how much happier my family is when I’m happy.

When I cut myself some slack, put my feet up more often, relax. Allowing myself to let loose and abandon my mental to-do list a little more allows for so much more peace of mind. While singing in the car and dancing in the kitchen and laughing hysterically over something ridiculous. As a result, this lightens the mood not only for myself but for everyone around me.

Seems like a win-win situation, don’t you think?

So take from this what you will. But I really, truly hope you’re able to give yourself some gentle understanding. 

When you focus on “Good Enough” there often ends up being a whole lot more room for laughter, joy, grace, and love.

Have you been able to embrace “Good Enough” in a specific area of your life? If you care to share, please leave a comment. Let’s support each other!

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