As we do our best to navigate the world and raise resilient, compassionate children, I think we should be looking to Mr. Rogers for guidance during these troubled times.
Last week I sat in a local movie theater next to my mom, watching the documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor, about the late Fred Rogers.
We both forgot to bring tissues, which was such a rookie move since we knew it would likely be an emotional tear-jerker. And sure enough, we sat wiping our blurry eyes with the backs of our sleeves throughout the entire film.
Just hearing the theme song stirred up childhood memories and emotions.
“Won’t you please, won’t you please, please won’t you be my neighbor?“
I felt nostalgic. Understood. Comforted.
This film was truly a balm to my weary soul. Because I’ve spent the past several months feeling a wide range of emotions. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Hopelessness. The world feels especially troubled right now. The media more divisive than ever. Many of the problems we face seem insurmountable.
And I can only imagine how all of this feels to our precious children.
How do we explain the current state of the world to our kids? Where do we start? How do we offer them comfort and hope when we aren’t feeling very comforted or all that hopeful ourselves?
I’ll tell you what I’m doing.
I am Looking to Mr. Rogers for Guidance During These Troubled Times
I so admire the way that Mr. Rogers took his time with people. He looked into the eyes of each and every person he engaged with. And he reminded them through his actions, that they mattered.
That every single person is important and valued and special.
Just as they are.
As a child growing up in the 80’s, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was seamlessly woven throughout the fabric of my days.
At first glance, it appeared to be a show of low production value.
Simple, childlike sets.
No flashy colors and the absent was the rapid pace of many other television shows of the day.
And while Saturday morning cartoons included the fast action animation of The Transformers, Care Bears, Smurfs, Rainbow Brite, He-Man, and She-Ra, Mr. Rogers quietly used his hand puppets to help us come to terms with some of the more complicated parts of life.
First day of school jitters.
A dreaded visit to the Doctor’s office.
Parents getting a divorce.
Disabilities. Race. Death.
Mr. Rogers confronted tough subjects head-on.
Subjects that many adults would have preferred glossing over. Issues that many “experts” claimed were better left handled in a therapist’s office.
He addressed the toughest stuff life could throw at a child. He explained. Listened. Supported. He normalized the challenges of life and assured us that we weren’t alone when we felt anxious or frightened.
Mr. Rogers understood something that many adults seemed, and still seem, unable to recognize.
Children are complete human beings.
Just as they are.
Children will not someday be complete. They are completely whole right now, at this very moment in time, regardless of their age or life circumstances. They are capable of demonstrating great kindness and respect. And they are most definitely deserving of respect and unconditional love.
Just as they are.
As an ordained Presbyterian minister, Fred Rogers’ faith was the compass he used to live his life. He believed so strongly in the unifying force of love to weather life’s storms. He knew that love has the power to heal and restore.
And he lived these beliefs through his actions.
His simple and steady actions.
We felt comforted knowing that at the beginning of each episode of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, Mr. Rogers would come through the front door singing It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. And then he would remove his shoes and switch them out, walk over to the closet, change his sweater, and settle in to spend some time with us.
Perhaps the delivery man, Mr. McFeely, would stop by with a package. And we’d be eager to know what was inside. We figured that whatever it was would be interesting and would likely clue us into what adventure might be in store for us that day.
At some point, we knew that we would travel with Trolley to the Land of Make-Believe. We’d ride by King Friday’s Castle and wonder what he, Queen Sara, and Prince Tuesday were up to. And before much longer, we would stop by the old oak tree, where X the Owl and Henrietta Pussycat would be waiting.
And of course, Daniel Striped Tiger would emerge from the Grandfather Clock and we would discover what he was curious about or troubled with that day. No doubt, Lady Aberlin would listen, guide, encourage, and reassure Daniel, and in the process, do the same for us.
Before long, we would find ourselves completely caught up in a story that captivated us and captured our imagination.
We listened and watched. Explored and learned.
Eventually, the time would come for us to travel with Trolley back to reality. Here Mr. Rogers would gently help us make sense of all that we had experienced in the land of make-believe. He recognized the critical need for pretend play and imagination to help children process their emotions.
But it is only now, as an adult with children of my own, that I understand and fully appreciate the masterful way that he kept the lines between reality and make-believe so clear.
As children, we somehow understood this difference between reality and make-believe.
Through his masterful guidance, we got it.
I am now able to see how clearly he addressed the politically and emotionally charged topics that surrounded him. He didn’t ignore these issues. Instead, he told the truth. In gentle and loving ways, he explained and guided. And he offered unconditional love and respect. He demonstrated compassion.
He reminded children that they were special.
Just as they are.
And so while it seems simple, perhaps too simple at times, I am doing my best to live my life the way that Mr. Rogers did.
Paying attention to the person in front of me.
Listening to them.
Respecting them.
Loving them.
Just as they are.
I am looking to Mr. Rogers for guidance during these troubled times.
Regardless of our political affiliations, religious views, and our beliefs on how current issues should be handled, emulating the example of Mr. Rogers has the potential to assist in our healing.
I believe this with all of my heart.
If we are to weather these current storms we find ourselves in, we cannot underestimate the power of our daily actions.
Because simple gestures are often the most powerful.
Holding the door open for someone with a genuine smile on my face.
Asking my checker at the grocery store how they are doing and truly listening when they respond.
Engaging in unhurried conversation with my neighbor.
Bending down at a child’s level and asking her, “What do you think about this?” Then listening to her response with curiosity and gratitude.
I think we need to start here.
Mr. Rogers showed us time and time again that each and every human being is worthy of respect and love. That they are special.
Just as they are.
You know what this means, right?
This means that you too are worthy of respect and love.
Just as you are.
Please see this film! I hope you feel comforted and inspired the same way that I did.
Leave a Reply